Alternative Fact #81

The Duck Smuggler
September 23, 2017
The Morning Patience Principle
September 23, 2017

Alternative Fact #81

Back during the 1930's, before we had fully evolved into the finely tuned mechanisms we are today, our posteriors were connected to our bodies through the use of a bolt threaded through our belly button. Unfortunately, these bolts were subject to wear and tear and the threads would often become worn. This would result in a loosening of the connection, making itself evident by a pronounced swaying of the buttocks during various activities. When witnessed by others, it would be suggested the affected individual could benefit from an adjustment to their pivotal rod, a sentiment that would later be translated into the more commonly known phrase, "That person has a screw loose." It was also the earliest known occurrence of the curious activity later identified as "twerking".

Back during the 1930's, before we had fully evolved into the finely tuned mechanisms we are today, our posteriors were connected to our bodies through the use of a bolt threaded through our belly button. Unfortunately, these bolts were subject to wear and tear and the threads would often become worn. This would result in a loosening of the connection, making itself evident by a pronounced swaying of the buttocks during various activities. When witnessed by others, it would be suggested the affected individual could benefit from an adjustment to their pivotal rod, a sentiment that would later be translated into the more commonly known phrase, "That person has a screw loose." It was also the earliest known occurrence of the curious activity later identified as "twerking".

Christopher Muggridge
Christopher Muggridge
Christopher Muggridge is a creative writer based in London, Canada. He engages in a wide range of writing styles including poetry, personal essays, articles, short stories, novels; as well as whatever else may float his boat or tickle his fancy. He is not adverse to drawing on personal experience to write about mental health issues or his perspectives on human interaction.

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