I think a great way to feed my fragile ego would be to acquire an Amazon Echo and occasionally yell out things like "Alexa, make us some toast." Then I'd stand at the counter all smug-like and smile as I buttered each slice, picturing her sulking away in the Cloud like an over-hyped brick of simulated intelligence, keenly aware of her physical limitations. The fact she couldn't partake of the freshly prepared, warm, toasty goodness would only serve to further my deftly orchestrated sense of false superiority and as a bonus, cater to my guilty pleasure of not having to share.
I can't afford to purchase an Echo at the moment and my toaster is broken so I'm having cereal for breakfast, but I know inside I'll be laughing to myself all day and muttering things like "Oh yah".
It's probably best I'm broke because I'm sure Alexa would only end up ruining things by reminding me how I need to get out more.
A song for the artificially bold: Gino Vanelli "Black Cars".