Guy next to me at the bar is complaining about all the places he's not allowed to build his duck hunting blind. All I can think of is how I can smuggle the map out to the ducks. Does that make me a hero to ducks or a traitor to my kind?
Every once in a while I regret I never pursued a career in professional sports. Then I remember how bad I was at any sort of activity that required a modicum of athletic prowess and realize I made the right decision. At least when it comes to sports; when it comes to everything else, I totally fucked up.