Christopher Muggridge

September 23, 2017

High Five!

At my age, I feel I may be on the cusp of being considered charming. Until then, depending on who I'm talking to, I am either old enough to come across as creepy or young enough to seem overeager. This is why I tend to rely on the classic 'high five' in most situations. As awkward as it may be, as long as they don't leave me hanging, I drop that one into the 'win' column and walk on.

September 23, 2017

No Sweat

I'm considering bringing back sweatbands for the head and wrists. That would be my thing—Sweatband Guy. I realize I might be going out on a limb here but I already know it's better than my last effort—Diaper Head Guy. You think it would be easier to breathe through those things

September 23, 2017

Has Anyone Seen The Cat?

Remember, the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. That, and those cats who squish themselves flat up against the wall so they can stare at you from around the edge of doorways. Those things can really creep you out.

September 23, 2017

Just Try And Breathe…

Whenever you're feeling down and life has you pinned, put on some underwear that's two sizes too small and you'll be reminded that things can always be worse. Right before you pass out.

September 23, 2017

Breakfast Clubbed

When the movie Breakfast Club came out, I compared myself to a cross between Anthony Michael Hall and Judd Nelson. Now I envision a bit of Anthony Michael Hall with a good dose of Ally Sheedy (minus the dandruff) and I am strangely OK with that.

September 23, 2017
Man jumping in water

Who’s Awesome? You’re Awesome.

It occurs to me that all it takes to be awesome is to believe you are. The rest is all just hype and perception. It doesn't matter if anyone else believes it, as long as you do.

September 23, 2017

Watch Where You Step

Small pebbles on the sidewalk when you're walking barefoot; nature's Lego.

September 23, 2017

Even Ninjas Have To Go Sometime

Taking a nature walk today and a strange man stepped out of the bushes on the trail in front of me. Either he is the world's worst ninja or he was taking a pee. I didn't see a sword or any throwing stars so I am leaning towards the latter. If no one hears from me again, he may have proved me wrong.

September 23, 2017
Tired dog on lawn chair

I Remember Sleep

I remember when sleep and I used to be friends. Well, maybe friends is too strong a word. More like acquaintances who lived down the hall from each other and borrowed cups of sugar from time to time.

September 14, 2017

Why I Hide My Happiness As Someone With Depression

Life has been shitty for me for a long time.

Depression, instead of giving me a break for any length of time, chose instead to be an obnoxious guest, crashing on my couch and putting the empty box of Froot Loops back in the cupboard without telling me before I went grocery shopping.

This essay was published on The Mighty on September 25, 2017.