Christopher Muggridge

Sometimes I have thoughts.

Sometimes I post these thoughts on my website for you to read. Sometimes you read them. This is generally referred to as "Blogging", which should not be confused with "Flogging", an activity I do not perform for free. Unlike my Blogging.

July 10, 2017

Significant Udder

A "slice of life" look inside the marital relationship of a Bull and a Cow.

July 10, 2017

Cock-a-Doodle-Drew-or-Die

A reality TV show involving a group of roosters with pencils strapped to their beaks and blank paper lining the floor of their coop. Each week they scratch out drawings with the results being rated by Gordon Ramsay. Loser gets roasted.

July 10, 2017

Rock, Papers, Scissor Kicks

Reality TV show hosted by Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson featuring scientists writing research papers while working out. Winner gets a Nobel price and a home gym.

July 10, 2017

In Stitches

A stitch in time saves nine. Of course, if that stitch is all sloppy and ragged, then who cares?

July 10, 2017

How Much For The Bird?

A bird in hand is worth two in the bush. Unless, of course, the bird in hand is dead: in which case your bird isn't worth squat and there are two perfectly good birds in a bush laughing at you.

July 10, 2017

Two For One

Kill two birds with one stone—preferably those two in the bush. They're not worth more than the one in your hand anyway.

July 10, 2017

Lie Down Boy

Let sleeping dogs lie. Unless of course by using the word "lie" they actually mean to not tell the truth. In that case, call the dog on it. Sleeping or not, that’s just not cool.

July 10, 2017

Wanna Try That Again?

If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try again. No use giving up now, you already looked pathetic by not getting it on that first try.

July 10, 2017

How Charming

The third time's the charm. I'm pretty sure the fourth time is either pregnancy or jail time.

July 10, 2017

I Gave It An 8

You can't judge a book by its cover. Everyone knows it's the swimsuit competition that really counts.