Christopher Muggridge

July 10, 2017

Penny Pincher

A penny for your thoughts already seems like a cheap bid, but the fact that you expect to get more than just one thought for that same penny is what makes you such a greedy bastard.

July 10, 2017

Watch It

A watched pot never boils. Of course, neither does a roasting pan but you don’t hear anyone making a big fuss about that one, do you?

July 10, 2017

Make It Count

Never count your chickens before they hatch. Unless of course you're making omelets; in which case, I'll have three.

July 10, 2017

Treasure It Always

One man's trash is another man's treasure. Of course, it's important to check for needles in that trash because Hepatitis can be a really crappy treasure.

July 10, 2017

Oh So Curious

Curiosity killed the cat. I bet it was because the damn thing kept lying on his face while he tried to sleep.

July 10, 2017

Over The Moon

Who cares about some runaway dish and spoon when the real question is, what the “hey diddle diddle” is going down between that cat and that fiddle?

July 10, 2017

Closing The Gap

Today I learned that the whole “dog’s mouth is cleaner than a human’s” thing is a myth. Only 6 reasons now why my dog is better than me.

July 10, 2017

A Leg Up

Today I saw a little person in the park. He was up on a box with a crowd of people around him and as I got closer I could hear him shouting about equality and how little people like himself deserved the same respect and opportunities as everyone else. I had to admit that I found him to be very convincing and so did many others, judging by all the nodding heads in the crowd. After a while I looked around and wondered if anyone else imagined what it would be like to use him as a footstool.

July 10, 2017

Does Anyone Have A Wet Wipe?

Today I found myself in a sticky wicket. I have no idea what a wicket is but I definitely don’t want to know how it got to be so sticky.

July 9, 2017

Pit Stop

The road of life could benefit from more rest stops. That, and much cleaner gas station washrooms.