Christopher Muggridge

Yesterday I got the heebie-jeebies. Not knowing what to do with them, I decided to sell them on eBay. A quarter each or five for a buck. So far business has been rather slow.

I feel like a bird's sweet song in the spring. Except the song is more like a groan and instead of a bird it’s more of a ferret kind of thing, in the winter.

I am beginning to suspect that I may not be very good at sharing my feelings.

Yesterday I was cleaning house and threw my back out. Today I woke up and realized I still needed it.

I have really got it going on. I just hope to hell I can get it off again before anyone gets home.

Today I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. I never would have agreed to give it that piggyback ride if I had known how boney its ass was.

Today I was willing to take a bullet for a friend until I discovered that taking it had nothing to do with shoplifting.

I can bring it. I just don't think anyone would want what it is that I brought.

There is good in everyone but sometimes they can be a little hesitant to share it, so you may need to kick them until it comes out.

I think sometimes people need a push to get started. Sometimes I think I just like to push people.

I think the only reason we don't see more nudist shopping centers is because no one wants to handle the money.