Christopher Muggridge

Sometimes I have thoughts.

Sometimes I post these thoughts on my website for you to read. Sometimes you read them. This is generally referred to as "Blogging", which should not be confused with "Flogging", an activity I do not perform for free. Unlike my Blogging.

July 9, 2017

In My Size

I think it’s fascinating that after so much work we put into dieting, exercising and losing weight, in the end we give the credit to our clothes by letting everyone know they “got too big for me”.

July 9, 2017

Tastes Like People

I think I am a people person the same way that Colonel Sanders was a vegetarian.

July 9, 2017

What A Drag

I think Sundays are like that friend you had who always had to drag his little brother Monday around.

July 9, 2017

Love Is

I think love is the most powerful force in the Universe. Like if something was riding on the back of a Tyrannosaurus Rex that was wearing a super robot body with laser-guided, nuclear missiles and sporting some mad ninja skills; that would be love. Something wearing a moustache would work too. Moustaches make everything more badass.

July 9, 2017

The Sad Truth

I think it’s sad that the pot can’t recognize the inherent self-loathing and irony revealed in its unwarranted personal attacks on the kettle.

July 9, 2017

If It Isn’t Broken

I think that when people refer to the act of spaying and neutering their pets as “getting them fixed”, they do so ironically knowing full well that they have just broken a perfectly good dog.

July 9, 2017

A Little Joy

I like to bring a little Joy with me wherever I go. I have her on a keychain and feed her sunflower seeds while she rides about in my jacket pocket.

July 9, 2017

Senior Twin Powers, Activate

I like to rub together random old people in effort to find the perfect pair who will eventually meld together to become "Toothless Prime" the Wrinkled Avenger.

July 9, 2017

Eyes On The Fries

I like to go through McDonald's drive-thru and ask the person on the speaker to bring out a menu in brail so I can figure out what to order.

July 9, 2017

A Lesson Learned

I like to keep a live ferret in my pants just to remind myself that like an angry, claustrophobic ferret, life will sometimes bite me in the ass.