Christopher Muggridge

Sometimes I have thoughts.

Sometimes I post these thoughts on my website for you to read. Sometimes you read them. This is generally referred to as "Blogging", which should not be confused with "Flogging", an activity I do not perform for free. Unlike my Blogging.

July 8, 2017

Spies

Dance like nobody is watching but don’t pick your nose in case you’re wrong.

July 8, 2017

The Littles

Little Boy Blue & Little Bo Peep lost their sheep. Rumor has it that they fell asleep but I don’t buy it. I’ve seen the way they look at each other.

July 8, 2017

She Sells Sea Shells

Sally sells seashells down by the seashore. That Sally is stupid. If I was already at the seashore I’d pick my own damn shells & just skip the middleman.

July 8, 2017

Beware The Road Less Traveled

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less traveled by,
And that’s when I was beaten up by the wood nymphs.

July 8, 2017

Don’t Forget

It is impossible to almost forget something.

July 8, 2017

I Don’t See It

Legal Blindness is defined as “…visual acuity (vision) of 20/200 (6/60) or less in the better eye with best correction possible.” Although this certainly conveys that the person affected may have limited visual perception and perhaps even qualify for some sort of government assistance based on that fact, it does not factually mean that the condition has been licensed in some fashion.

July 8, 2017

Double Duty

Why do socks go up past the ankles?

July 8, 2017

TV Nazis

On my way home today I passed a sign that read “Drive Safely” and I thought to myself, “How sad that we need such a sign to remind people not to be reckless.” Then I thought, “What if we don’t? What if that sign wasn’t needed at all? What if people were already driving safely without any encouragement from some preaching, roadside slogan with raging billboard envy?”

July 8, 2017

Beggars Be Choosin’

You know what bothers me? It’s the fact that beggars can’t be choosers. It seems to me that everyone should get a choice, even the homeless.

July 8, 2017

Optimistically Speaking

There are three kinds of optimists in the world and I have slapped each one of them. Put a spin on that you damn show offs.