Bits & Bobs

December 1, 2017

Can’t Be Bothered To Look It Up

Considering its meaning, I find it ironic the word "lackadaisical" is both so long and difficult to spell.

November 26, 2017

Nice Ears

I think we should be much more appreciative of our ears. Not only do they enable us to communicate more effectively, give us something to adorn, and something to hold onto when things get a little heated (nudge, nudge, wink, wink), they also save us from having to staple our glasses in place.

November 10, 2017

A Simple Principle

I see the political, ethnic, gender, and every other possible combination of harassment, inequality, and entitlement controversy and can't help but feel it boils down to a very simple principle: Don't be a dick.

November 10, 2017

Grandmotherly Advice

It's on cold nights like tonight that I remember my grandmother telling me to always wear underwear when wearing pants that have a zipper. She was chock full of wise sayings like that. All I remember about my grandfather is that he had one testicle. Obviously, one of us wasn't listening.

November 10, 2017

Who You Gonna Tweet?

If a ghost was spotted in today's age of rampant social media, I would wager the Ghostbusters would receive more Tweets than phone calls. If so, would they still need the snarky receptionist? I suppose she could learn to maintain their Facebook page and online presence. Snapchat would definitely see an upswing in activity. Pics or it isn't sliming you or cooking eggs on your kitchen counter.

November 10, 2017

They’re Testing Me

Sometimes I know I'm a logical, free-thinking individual with valid opinions and important contributions to be made to the social fabric of our global wide social infrastructure. I know, like everyone else on this planet, I have a voice that matters and making it heard is paramount to our mutual success.

Just some times. The rest of the time I know it's the aliens testing me.

November 7, 2017

Idiom Conflict

The idiom that "just because you can do something doesn't mean you should", too often conflicts with other important words to live by, such as "do what makes you happy". Like farting in crowded elevators and pointing to the person beside you. That stuff is just too funny to take off the table.

November 7, 2017

Sock It To Me

Socks should come in sets of three to provide a back up for the one that will never make it back from the dryer.

November 7, 2017

Too Old To Trick

I think the age you stop Trick-or-Treating at Halloween is the one where you realize your desire to collect free, individually wrapped, tiny bars of chocolate is trumped by your laziness over having to walk around the block carrying a bag and knocking on doors.

November 7, 2017

More Friends Than You

We all have that one friend who is a complete idiot. Unless, of course, you don't have any friends. Then you feel extra pathetic because as much of a moron as that one guy is, he still has more friends than you.