You catch more flies with honey than vinegar. It works with people too, but that much honey can get expensive so I choose to ignore them instead. What would I want with a crowd of people trapped in honey anyway? I have enough trouble with just one of them in a face to face conversation.
Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me. Unless any of those names are written on one of those rocks; that might sting a bit.
A stitch in time saves nine. Of course, if that stitch is all sloppy and ragged, then who cares?
A bird in hand is worth two in the bush. Unless, of course, the bird in hand is dead: in which case your bird isn't worth squat and there are two perfectly good birds in a bush laughing at you.
Kill two birds with one stone—preferably those two in the bush. They're not worth more than the one in your hand anyway.
Let sleeping dogs lie. Unless of course by using the word "lie" they actually mean to not tell the truth. In that case, call the dog on it. Sleeping or not, that’s just not cool.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try again. No use giving up now, you already looked pathetic by not getting it on that first try.
The third time's the charm. I'm pretty sure the fourth time is either pregnancy or jail time.
You can't judge a book by its cover. Everyone knows it's the swimsuit competition that really counts.
If you want a thing done well, do it yourself. That is unless you are trying to shave your back. Let’s be realistic, you can't be perfect at everything.